18 Comments
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Rita's avatar

Thank you for sharing Cindy! It's a real journey unpacking all the purity culture garbage. I had a sort of grieving process for all the sex education I DIDN'T receive and the myths/lies I received instead. Thank goodness for the book Come as You Are, I recommend it to everyone!!

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Cindy Wang Brandt's avatar

Yes, thanks for pointing it out as grief.

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Tricia's avatar

Such a wonderful article, Cindy. Thank you for being willing (once more) to live your journey so we can learn alongside you. As a former pastor I have identified with much of your journey and grateful you are shedding light on this essential part of reclaiming our lives. Your work is so valuable.

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Cindy Wang Brandt's avatar

Thank you for these kind words.

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Michelle A's avatar

Wow, this is so comparable to my experiences! I explored and questioned everything because I was taught nothing! Thank you for sharing!

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Cindy Wang Brandt's avatar

The sexual silence was truly an injustice.

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Barbara Cozart's avatar

Thank you so much for sharing your journey so authentically. I identify so much with what you share here.

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Cindy Wang Brandt's avatar

thank you for reading <3

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Rob's avatar

Wow, what an incredibly vulnerable and vital post. Thanks for writing these words! I have discovered how much purity culture screwed up my cis male mind. I used to think that purity culture was something that only affected women -- you know, evangelical misogyny and all. But wow, was I wrong!

Feelings of male entitlement, body ownership, shame, failure, you name it... all originate from there.

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Cindy Wang Brandt's avatar

Definitely affected men too, reduced men to sex crazed lust monsters with no healthy understanding of integrating natural, human, healthy sexual desires with honoring boundaries and consent.

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Barbara Cozart's avatar

This is a pretty terrifying journey to be honest. But also incredibly centering and validating.

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Cindy Wang Brandt's avatar

Yes, for sure, thank you for reading <3

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Simona Nedelisky's avatar

Thank you. This is so well written and super helpful to me and for my teens and younger kids also. Thank you for sharing.

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Cindy Wang Brandt's avatar

we have the opportunity to break the sexual silence so many of us grew up with

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Mandy's avatar

Thank you for being so open and vulnerable. I always learn a lot from your experience. Would you be able to share the names of the other books and podcasts that helped you along this sexual journey?

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Cindy Wang Brandt's avatar

Beyond Shame by Matthias Roberts

All of Esther Perel's stuff - books/podcasts, etc.

Savage Lovecast - Dan Savage

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Mandy's avatar

Thank you so much!

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we’re going to be ok's avatar

Amazing. Thank you for sharing!! I want so many girls/women in purity culture to know this!

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